Information for Women
of Domestic Violence
Quiz; How Controlling is Your Man
Quoting from the book, "Born to Please"
Compliant Women/Controlling Men by Karen
If you are not sure where you and your mate
the questions in the following quiz. Write
"YES" when you feel
that the description is usually or always
true. Answer "NO"
when it is not usually or never true.
When there is a problem in the relationship,
He blames you_
He someimes drinks too much and becomes
You know or suspect that he has been
with other women_
He is late or stands you up for appointments
He forbids or criticizes your outside
activities and hobbies_
He embarrasses you in front of other people_
He gets angry when you disagree with him_
He accuses you of flirting with other men
when you are not_
He follows you to check up on you_
He is critical of the way you look or dress_
He insists on driving the car when you go
He has hit you_
He does or says things that you never thought
you could tolerate_
He stops talking to you or withdraws his
he wants to win an argument or make a point_
He says he needs his freedom or
He has pushed you or twisted your arm or
used some other physical act to make you bend to his will_
He doesn't allow you to have a checking
account, and gives an allowance to pay the bills_
He uses sex to quiet your doubts about the
He is not interested in your day_
He gives you extra money or buys you
presents when you have been "good"_
He calls you a nag or accuses you of
stirring up trouble if you want to talk about problems in the
He never calls you by your real name_he uses
a demeaning or derogatory nickname_
He doesn't phone when he is going to be
He wants you around when he is there_
He has been arrested at least once_
He feels uncomfortable or gets angry with
you when you get the attention (because of some aspect of your
work or a special accomplishment)_
He trivializes or makes fun of your
He often says you're too critical_
He flirts with women in front of you_
He makes you feel sorry for him_
He frightens you with threats_
He finds fault with your friends and the
people you are close to_
If you answered yes to twenty or more, Your
man is very controlling.
If you answered yes to twelve or more, your
man is quite controlling.
If you answered yes to five or more, your
man somewhat controlling.
the more controlling your man is, the more of a pleaser you
probably are_otherwise you would leave the relationship.
How men control
Abuse:Sometimes you make me so mad
that I lose control. You'd better not push me too far because you
never know what I might do to you.
Seduction;No one can love you like I
do. You're nothing with me. I'm the only one who can give you
what you need.
Expertise; Trust me. I know you better than
you know yourself.I know what's right for you."
Money; I make the money, so I have the
right to make the decisions, too.
Empty Promises;You drive ne to
distraction, If you didn't act this way, maybe I would be able to
be more dependable.
Emotional blackmail; Watch yourself.....or
you'll be sorry.
The Silent Treatment; "I know you can't
stand it when I turn you off and pretend like you don't exist.
You'll do anything to get me talking again."
They will also say I'm sorry
but to they really don't know mean it.
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